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Guaranteed. If you repeated the name Barbara Vasconcelos three times underwater, the Red Cross would be treating you as a drowning rescue victim. We know this for a fact because we ran into Barbara the other day at the public swimming hole and she was wearing a very abbreviated bikini. With a rather obvious bulge. Our first impulse was to yell man overboard, but the longer we looked, the more we liked. It's a concept that catches on after while. Sad to say, though, we were moral cowards. But we have this friend name Poopaquito. Though he tends to speak in a high register, Poopaquito's afraid of nothing. He went home with Barbara and made forbidden love. That story could have been ours to tell.

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