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Mona has one of those faces you just feel comfortable with. Like the waitress who served you that dish of Pad Thai noodles, you feel compelled to relate your life story out of a sense of conversation, knowing she probably doesn't speak a lick of English nor understands a word of what you're trying to say. Likewise, as all Asian strumpets, Mona will nod smilingly and you'll take that as the green light for some masturbatory act she could perform upon you. This may or may not be the case, and you can take your chances, however, with percentages working in your favor. Whereas the Pad Thai waitress might yell rape at the top of her lungs in that cute Ho Chi Min dialect of hers, Mona, because she's wise to the ways of porn, can be your obedient house girl. If not in actuality, at least in spirit. And so we present Mona, no bologna.

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