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Brutally beautiful with Mediterranean lips that could create sheer havoc, Angel is your prototypical diamond in the rough. Raised in Sicily near a field of wine vats, Angel spent the better part of her youth removing stubborn grape stains from the soles of her feet. That's when she met Antonio, the son of a deported Mafia chieftain from the States. She learned many things from him, for instance, how to run in a specific pattern to dodge machine gun bullets, how to file serial numbers off of revolvers and the most effective ways of laundering currency. How Angel's misspent youth led her into the porn business is a story that Hollywood's seriously looking into, and there's rumors, again, that Lindsay Lohan will get the role. That we wouldn't bet on, but Angel should make significant bank as a technical advisor. If you believed any part of this cock n' bull story, you deserve being home, jacking off to sex scenes on your computer. At least take comfort in the fact that you're stroking it to Angel.

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