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Not to be confused with Maury Povich, Mourrie Turman is proud of her ethnicity and intends to prove it on Cinco de Mayo this week by getting vomit-drunk in a pool of cheap Tequila. When she's not celebrating Pancho Villa's birthday, the fall of the Alamo and other significant holidays of her countrymen, Mourrie enjoys dressing provocatively [sometimes without panties] and passing herself off as some obscure TMZ celebrity hoping someday to land on that website as a has been movie star's latest cheap conquest. But true to her Latina temperament, Mourrie is also quickly aroused to passion- the kind of passion that reaches for a gun and a dagger before reason prevails. You don't want to piss Mourrie off. As an exemplar of nouveau glamour, Mourrie expects to be pampered, indulged and waited on hand and foot. Sit her in a restaurant, as we see in this streaming movie, Mourrie can be a terror with a mouth totally out of control. The service has to be just so and exact, and pity the poor slob waiter who gets caught in the crossfire. Mourrie will cuss at you and demean you in words never dreamed up by the ancient Spaniards, but if you hang in there, the rewards are significant. Some guys with patience less than of a saint might be tempted to kill her before all that kicks in, but that would be their loss.

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