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Mysti isn't much for reading the papers, she's a bit too modern, and hip, to waste time on the printed word. Instead, Mysti spends hours on the internet reading up about current events, learning from her friends on various social media platforms about what issues she should be donating all of her fucks to this week. For instance, last week she gave a fuck about female birth control. This week, she's planning on giving a fuck about children in Africa. Mysti cared so much about this that she asked a couple of her black friends to come over and get a little more in-depth with her about it. Well, as you know, one thing eventually leads to another and before Mysti can say "Kony!" she's up to her eyeballs in a discussion about last week's topic, female birth control, specifically, whether or not she was going to get pregnant after taking a couple three-day-loads from her black friends. If only she could remember why she invited them over in the first place. No matter; there's always next week's cause to contemplate!

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