Like the early bed specials at those old drive-in theatres we used to make out at, it's time for one of those four-hot-chicks-for-the-price-of-one sales. And, like having your own peephole at a Pajama Party, slobber to the carnal delights offered by Ruby Rayes and her tittering buddies as they undress, make a little love and relate wild anecdotes that can only happen to porn broads. Don't know about you, but we've already made up our minds to soil our pants to Proxy Paige, who embodies the cheap tawdriness of the classic shanty town bottled blonde. If proxy-fucking the girl next door is your thing, you also have Michelle Myers. But good luck trying to get a phone number. You'll be sucking voice mail and leaving embarrassing messages that you'll only regret later when she files a TRO against you for stalking. Just kidding. Then if you've got enough strength left in your weary bones to get it up, there's Paris Marie. Oh, you want Paris Hilton? You're on the wrong page and wrong income bracket.