If you detect your heart galloping and throwing off arrhythmias, that might be the beautiful body of Ashley Long talking to your pecker and not your enfeebled body telling you the end is in sight. Then, again, if your physician's convinced you've got two days left, it's possible that you're not in a rapidly descencing submarine and that all the oxygen around you is being sucked up. This could, indeed, be the big one. Not that it's going to make you feel any better, but physicians have been known to screw up and make bloopers. Except theirs lead to a pile of medical bills that'll bury you before the undertaker gets there. That's why it's nice to be able to watch porn knowing that it doesn't promise world peace, a solution to poverty and hunger or a cure for cancer. Porn is outrageous and entertainingly stupid, and its entertainers are subject to hilarious misadventures. Listen to what Ashley has to say, and if you're gonna go, at least go with a smile on your face.